SINGING HIS SONG

As we close out another Women’s history month I am going to do what I have done for years in writing this blog, speaking from the heart and making the deeper connection to how it has shaped my identity as a Black Woman.

Grounding myself in the wisdom that I continue to gather on this journey, I have found a deeper understanding of the messages I received in my home and in my community and the lasting impact it has had on me.

One the strongest voices and presence in my life is my father who I still call ‘Daddy.’ Daddy recently fell ill and it took me down this thought process of the role he plays in my life and the fact that I am the woman I am today because of my mother and all the women in my family and my community who shaped me but all along the way the consistence presence to be who I am in the way I feel best, has been this loving man.

I have been thinking about a few of things that stand out in thinking about the woman, the activist the poet I am today and how he has supported and loved me unconditionally throughout.

Michele, Felix and I heard ‘I love you’ in our home and he showed us every chance he had. I realize that that simple act helps me recognize what it looks like and sounds like and when it does not come in that way, however late I take to listen to the whispers, I will get up and walk away.

Daddy allowed me to make mistakes and learn from them without judgment. I can always go back to him to process and speak of the lessons learned. The comfort I have engaging him as a male is the comfort I take with me in my relationships with other men in my life. I was blessed to have this kind of relationship with my uncles and my coach. My motto has been, ‘if I can say it to him then I can say it to you.’

He gave me room to be free and to explore. I drove him crazy as a child because I always had the why question. As an adult he has done the same as he supports my commitment to this journey and has joined me.

Reflecting on my love for my father I arrived at two major points. Daddy kept his promise. He made a promise to my mother when she passed that we would continue being a priority and he did every step of the way. They say behind every man there is a strong woman. Today I stand with great clarity and pride and say, next to this woman is this amazing man whose love has been a guiding force to her grounding identity as a Black Woman. 

Daddy has joined me on this journey by sharing stories that we can take in and understand better today. It brings up a level of pain and resiliency that builds more admiration for this man that became a widower in his early 40’s and raised three kids. It is in these moments that I realize I am telling my families story, my father’s story. We have taken trips to locations where specific incidents happened. This makes speaking truth bigger than me. 

He now calls me when he sees racism or discrimination and tells me about it. He opens by saying, I have a Black Folks story J

I know he is proud of me which has given me the space to say, Daddy is here with me, every step of the way.  I move with a Fearless light when I sing that song. 

I love my skin, my hair, my community, and my people because my father celebrated and loved All unconditionally. 

I write this blog with profound love saying, I am a Daddy’s girl. My sister can also sing the same song.  I share with no reservation that the man that stands close to me, the man I lean on the most on this journey of Blackness is my father.

Today I celebrate all the women warriors who keep doing it their way, much Love and Admiration. 

Today I celebrate the man who supports me doing it my way. Today I dedicate this song to you. Thank you Daddy for all you have done and continue to do. Thank you for validating these words for me, Our Black Is Beautiful.  

Peace and Light,

Yvette

Mirroring a Grounding Light

Mirroring a Grounding Light

Happy New Year familia!!

Moving with the energy of the recent 125th birthday of Zora Neale Hurston, I went back to read her words and to reflect back on my guiding word of 2015, Fearless. Encuentro Diaspora Afro and I mirrored each other throughout the year and began this New Year with a new word, Grounded.

As I sit here to write my first reflection of the year, I also look back at my posting from last year. I wrote less. Not because I did not have things to say but because I had so much to say and it was not enough to write about it. I had to act on it. I needed movement, like marching in the streets. I needed dance to release the fear and the pain. I needed singing to regain the joy.  

Encuentro Diaspora Afro and I entered many spaces that brought us closer to synchronizing the voice and the light that has guided us diligently on this journey. 

I came out the gate (the track athlete still lives within) of 2016 saying, this is who we are and this is what we bring to the table. We have learned so much and look forward to learning more. We stand here today comfortable in our position and in our skin. We felt pain and love simultaneously throughout and know that this is inevitable in the world we are currently living in. 

We are still on the search to have us; people of African descent, see each other with our crowns, hoping that we can make the deeper connection. That connection would bring us to say, no matter where we landed, we are still connected and many of the things that we hold on to so tightly to create separation were imposed on us and we need to look beyond.

I have learned through the spaces that Encuentro Diaspora Afro continues to create and through the spaces that I have entered, that clarity of our identity is Key to our survival and our movement in this chaotic world that keeps showing us that Black Lives does not Matter.

When we embrace the song, WE DO MATTER, then with clarity, dignity and the righteousness that guides us we say even louder, BLACK LIVES MATTER. 

Throughout the year Encuentro Diaspora Afro raised its voice saying we are people of African descent and Black Lives Matter.

Yvette raised her voice to say, I am proud to move in this skin and determined to let it shine above all the hate. I am a black woman and that comes with a lot and I say to you, Black girls/ Black Women Matter. You can talk about our body in degrading ways but we hold strong knowing, OUR BLACK IS BEAUTIFUL.

Pain teaches you resiliency, Love teaches hope and simplicity. Encuentro Diaspora Afro will not apologize for being Afro descendant centered and Yvette will not apologize for being African centered. 

We have both gotten older and wiser and know that we still have more to learn yet being rooted in this message keeps us reaching for more. 

Someone asked me recently how do you separate EDA and Yvette? I have learned that I can in some ways but in many ways I cannot because it started from the pain and love that was seen externally and felt internally and it is that pain and love that has kept us standing. Love has won the battle. Love for my people, my community and a deeper understanding of love for myself as a Black Panamanian Immigrant woman. 

In the spirit of Queen Zora Neal Hurston we will not apologize for this righteousness that has arrived at our door step. Being honest with ourselves we reach a place of acceptance.

We stand looking in the mirror, grounded in that light that has guided us, smiling at each other saying, We are going to be All right!

Peace, Light and Love,

Yvette