Moving from Our Center, Our Rock: Hope in My "Peoples"

Since I began writing these Reflections I use the first one of the year to share a message from members of our family or I take the time and look back on what I wrote and pull areas that were highlighted by others.

This year I will move with voices that moved me to tears and filled my heart with love and hope.

I will begin by sharing why I chose this title and why I ask that this be our mantra for 2012, Hope in my Peoples.

I use the word my “Peoples” because it makes me think, Love. One of my friends always says, Is that your peoples? I love the sound of that! It makes me feel like we are all connected. So that is my new favorite word for the new year, my “People’s “. You are my “Peoples” wherever you are standing. It makes me feel grounded and tribal every time I say.

2011 was The Year of People of African descent. It was a year to celebrate, gain clarity, see movement and build unity. I saw this a few times but I cannot help but say, not enough. I feel we are closer but still not unified. We are still not “seeing” each other.

Many are rejected for speaking truth. Our community, our organizations, our “peoples” are still struggling to stay afloat. This economy has had a direct impact on all of our spaces.

As one of my mentors said, It is time for a “shift” What kind of shift” That is the question I move with into this New Year.

My “peoples”, how do we really take care of ourselves and our community during these challenging times? How do we honor all that we come from without fear?

I feel we can answer these questions together. I met so many wonderful people in 2011.They are the kind of “peoples” that I will stand close to and cherish for a long time.

I also enter 2012 feeling closer to those that are in my life and I will continue to honor the care and wisdom they share with me. Death, pain and struggle does that, it really lets you know who is there.

What have we learned this year or what do we know for sure? I learned that racism still exists. I saw more moments of racism, felt confusion amongst us and a lack of understanding that was painful to watch.

I found myself in many exchanges with friends who thought the visual representation of my Africanness was too much and it was, at times to them, a rejection of me being Panamanian.

If there is one thing I am entering this New Year knowing for sure is “Africa is in Panama.”! It’s in the history, the structure, the water, and the people.

Familia, every year is the year of People of African descent. We do not need to wait for the United Nations or the OAS to tell us. How do we move forward when every day we are reminded that being Black is a struggle.

One my answers came in a message from General Ishola Williams from NIgeria. After the sudden death of my hermana Sonia Pierre, I became concerned about the future of Women of African descent and our overall health and well being. I wrote a Reflection about Sonia as I felt it was important that those who knew her, share her.
The General, as I like to call him, sent me the most touching message that I then went on to read at the gathering celebrating her life.

He wrote, “The African Gods take back those who have completed their task assigned to them in this world so that those who know and worked with them continue where they left off. It is appropriate that those she left behind continue. However, how do these tragic events energize us or do they weaken us? Do they strengthen our solidarity and spirit? If they do then they did not die in vain like Marcus Garvey etc. Therefore, your blog has put forward more challenges. But where do we start? We can start from a group of Descendants who are proud to be known as “non-resident Africans” in our color, dress and hairstyle etc. Have respect for African religions; build a philosophical and pragmatic framework for solidarity amongst resident and non-resident Africans. To be energized for greater action is to honor Sonia. She has done much within her short life to be an ancestor.”

This message gives me hope and I hope that it does the same for you as you read it. I believe in our “peoples” if it comes with the depth and gentleness, of a voice like the General.

My other moving moment that I want to share with you in this New Year, is the words of a woman who in her presence, is a visual representation of why I love Black women. Ms. Phyllis, as I like to call her, is from Belize. We met through our work with the Red de Mujeres Afro. I have been blessed to spend quality time with her, visit her home and gain a friendship that will stand for a long time.

I saw Belize through her eyes, so I could only love Belize because of my friendship, my love and admiration for Ms. Phyllis. Whenever she writes me, I cry and reflect on her words for days. I am moved that she knows me so well and that she speaks directly to my heart.

After writing my reflection, An African Glow, she wrote me this message. “I am honored that you mentioned my name and comment in the article. Though I know many “Afro descendents” in Central America and South America, none of them really seem to embrace their “African Roots” as much as you do. You have been on a quest to learn, absorb all that you can about our people who brought so much on this journey and who are fighting not to lose those things. By doing so, and sharing with me, we have both grown. Thanks for allowing me to walk on this journey with you and I hope that we will reach our destination together.”

Those words can fill your heart with all the love and energy it needs to keep moving forward. I will carry them close as I move through 2012.

I would also like to leave you with a visual for the New Year. As a Community Services Trauma Responder we used the visual of dropping a rock in a puddle of water and the amount of circles it would form. That is how we explained the impact of any trauma on a family and a community. No matter how close you are to the rock, you can be impacted in some form.

For 2012, I would like to use that same visual. The rock will represent, love, respect, spirituality, truth and humility. As I drop this rock, I would like the meaning of this rock to reach you in Roxbury, Haiti, Santo Domingo, Panama, DC, and Nicaragua, Nigeria and Martinique. I would like it to land on all my “PEOPLES”.

If we can move with the understanding that the impact is felt everywhere, then we can move from the same center. This center, this rock, builds on the best that we have, it gathers light from the wisdom and knowledge of our ancestors and celebrates us as a unified community.

In moving from our center, we will build stronger relationships with each other, we will cherish each other and highlight the gifts we bring. Since I took a step on this road, every person I have met has taught me something.

I will close with the words from a New Year’s message sent to me by the General, “Remember that the beginning of tomorrow is today.”

I am a seeker full of hope. Today, I move from our Center, our Rock, with the faith and hope in my “PEOPLES”.

May you be well, May you be loved, May you be lifted in this New Year.

Happy New Year familia!!

Peace and blessings,
Yvette

This picture was taken at home in Panama during the filming of the documentary. I felt safe and protected in this beautiful landscape that is why I say with great certainty, Africa is in Panama.

Representing Life! Sonia Pierre

A woman’s Representation of Life is in her movement,her fire and her ability to gather the wisdom to continue moving forward.

Sonia was the representation of this woman,this warrior,this Queen. Today she was buried in her hometown of Lecheria were her fire for justice was lit at the age of 13.It is only fitting that those who knew her, loved her and admire her, share her life with you.

When I heard of my dear friend and colleague making her transition, I immediately began to think about the women I have met on this journey. It then came to me that these women, my sisters, have become my voice of wisdom, comfort, joy and strength.

We don’t have casual friendships. We have nursed each other back from illness, held each other in moments of grief, consoled each other through heartbreak and celebrated life’s accomplishments together.

We have become a family and the distance between us is not an obstacle.

This is why I can say, I have lost a dear friend. We have lost a true Guerrera!

Sonia began speaking of the injustice Haitians were facing in Santo Domingo at the age of 13 when she was first arrested. She believed in the humanity of her people, safety and justice for women and human rights of all.

She loved Santo Domingo. Although most who did not agree with her painted her as Anti-Dominican. If you ever sat with her you knew that was not her. That was not the way she moved.

Sonia made those who moved with self hatred think. She challenged those on both sides of the island of Hispaniola to speak truth and defend the rights of the people.

She was threatened constantly by government officials and ridiculed in the Dominican press for speaking up. They went as far as wanting to remove her Dominican citizenship. This week many of those continued their negative rant.

This is why I feel it important to write this Reflection about her Representation of Life. I refuse, we refuse and you should refuse, to sit back and have her name tainted and her death presented in such a negative way.

We should all be screaming, Where is the humanity?! Donde esta la humanidad?!
Sonia’s passing is about us familia! This woman, this Queen, is us. She knew no other way to live her life but to serve the greater good and to seek justice for her people, for all of us.

Today as her hermanas mourn her death with those who loved her, I scream out loud, te queremos mucho mi hermana, seguiremos usando tus palabras y hablando tu verdad!

I find comfort in knowing that she will be joining Ann Marie and they will be laughing and dancing and that their spirit will hold us and protect us as we continue speaking their truth.

Her legacy, her Representation of Life, her grace and strength, will light the fire in our footsteps. May the ancestors welcome her with a bright light to her new thrown.

Rest in peace querida Sonia.

In peace
Yvette

An African Glow

“My life became an African life, my surroundings took on an African flavor, my spirit took on an African glow” Assata Shakur

The past few months my African spirit has been bright and grounded. It has been hugged and loved in the way that speaks straight to the heart. When it all comes together both internally and externally you cannot help but walk with a smile that says, “I am Africa”!!

I lean on the words of Assata Shakur as it speaks to my gaining clarity on who I am as a “non-resident” African. This Reflection is about sharing these spaces with all of you who although not present give fuel to my words and light the fire in my footsteps.

My first stop was the Howard University International conference, “Africa and People of African descent: Issues and Actions to (Re)- Envision the Future.”

I had been thinking a lot about how we use and why we use certain terminologies to identify ourselves and our community. In the summer, while presenting a paper an African American participant did not see themselves in the dialogue because I was using the term “Afrodescendent.” I also began to struggle on how many Afro-Latinos were using the term but not understanding or willing to lean more on the Afro part because I think they still are not fully clear of their Africanness.

I shared these thoughts with Brandi our Youth Coordinator. Her fire is motivating and her energy is contagious. Responding to her email was one of the best decisions I made this year.

We decide to send something in for the conference around this question of terminologies. Our title was, “What’s in a Name? Unpacking Black Terminologies of Identity.” I already had the panelist in mind that could really tackle this question without fear. Brandi was our youth/African American voice, Dr. Quito Swan a Prof. in the African Diaspora Studies at Howard University was our Caribbean voice, Chioma Naji our African voice and then my mentor Christopher Rodriguez, was the Afro-Latino voice.

We addressed such questions as, How do these terminologies condition the way we treat each other? (i.e. unifying by putting Africa at the center, or building barriers by emphasizing the differences in our identity) We highlighted our diverse experiences with the hope of “envisioning what an African descendent identity can represent in the global community”

I then decided I would also present an individual paper I had been working on for another conference. This took me deeper into my African Panama. My paper , “The Struggle for Equality, Visibility and Identity in Panama” highlighted the two major stages of development in Panama that are grounded in its African roots, and now adding a third stage that in knowing our history, created a movement for justice, acknowledgement and visibility.

I looked deeper into each stage and gathered stories from family members, friends, mentors, parents of friends, activist, to bring a real voice into the historical narrative. I was willing to learn, see and hear things that would continue to shatter the separation in the country, confront the glorification of a colonial mindset rooted in racism and celebrate the resistance of our people that was not only through action but a way of life that now moves with a Pan- African agenda.

The first stage, “Land-Tierra” is “rooted in the legacy of those brave Africans who refused to live an imposed life of servitude and created an alternative life for themselves in free New World African societies called, “Palenques.” Panama was the site of the first free black community on the mainland of the Americas. The descendants of the Cimarrones or Congos are present today and continue to practice their traditions.

I interviewed Marcia Rodriguez who I am excited to share, is now the Reina Congo. Marcia shared,” The Cimarrones showed us that to live well, it is necessary to have, “libertad y dignidad”. “We survived because we were always told that we needed to honor our ancestors. Their struggle could not be left in vein. If we lost our story, we lose ourselves.”

The Second stage, “Home” is rooted in the pride of the Caribbean community. In this stage I touch on Marcus Garvey’s work in Panama. I was moved by how many family members and friends were willing to share their story. I wanted to address the fact that our ancestors were denied citizenship at one point in this “Patria” we call home and although many celebrate the “priviledge” of the Canal Zone yet when you really look at it and I mean look at it, we were never fully accepted their either. As Mr. Terry said, “National identity is not simple as being born there but also about being a part of the people, the plan and the outcome. Where is the acceptance of the sweat and blood in this country?”

I learned by interviewing childhood friends that we survived the struggles in the desegregated schools because we were grounded in the real history of our families. As my friends Rey and Marcelo shared, we refused to be bullied and treated, “less than” we resisted their “entitlement” and moved as “one”

The third stage, “Root; Taking care of the Ground” is our time to speak of the complexity of our identity as people of African descent and the resistance that we move with today. I interviewed Eugenio Johnson, son of Mr. Eugene Johnson who was a Canal Zone police officer who spoke before Congress advocating for travel visas for the Afro-Caribbean community. Eugenio speaks of his father with great pride and now has a better understanding of what his father did for many.

In this stage I highlighted Mr. Richards who I will continue to write about because of the influence he continues to have on my development as a Pan-African. I learned more about his childhood, what he was like as a young man and what fed his journey to fight with others for “Dia de la Etnia Negra” in Panama. “Everything I read fed my enthusiasm and my energy that this had to happen.” He then switches to Spanish and says, “El rechazo de la sociedad hacia el Negro me da fuerza para seguir porque yo quiero enseñarle otro punto.”

I closed my paper with these words, “It is my hope that as Panamanians we embrace our deeply rooted history that allows us to look out to the Motherland while creating the visibility and the recognition in Panama that we so deserve. “

The conference was three days; I was inspired by all those present. On the second day, Quito invited me to speak to his students. I shared my journey in this work, more about Panama, our connections as people of African descent, my spiritual journey and Reggaeton.

I had shared with Quito that Reggae in Spanish started in Panama and broke it down that it started in Colon by a childhood neighbor called Nando Brim. Yes, I love telling that story! Anyway, I shared about current Reggaeton artist who still use this space to speak on the reality of the people. I highlighted Ricardo Weeks aka DJ BLACK who currently has a political position at home. We had the students listen to his song, “Su Madre” yes, familia, the clean version and then shared what he was saying. I had so much fun with the students. They asked wonderful questions. What was interesting was that most who came up to me after wanted to know more about my spiritual journey and how it could support their own search.

It was at the conference that I hung out with three brothers that I want you all to remember their names. Quito Swan, Mark Bolden and Jared Ball. Hanging out with these brothers makes your African spirit move in a perfect line. It is about the attitude, determination, knowledge, care and laughter. The only thing missing was our mutual friend Marcos Bellamy. These brothers are making some serious noise in each of their spaces. I am looking forward to collaborating with them in the future.

On this stop unconditional love was met and felt through the eyes of understanding, forgiveness and joy.

My second stop was the Black Caucus Leadership Conference. I shared this space with Marta Moreno Vega, Zakiya Carr –Johnson, Sheila Walker and Zulia Mena. In my few minutes I spoke of the visual representations of Latinas in this country and the lack of inclusion of the Afro descendent reality. I also spoke of the lack of understanding of the commonality with an African American experience. I spent more time sharing what I see working with the youth. How the not knowing, the not being able to ask, is creating the tensions in the schools and the internal struggles they face on a daily basis.

The third stop the African Union High Level Meeting. This was my in person meeting with Retired General Ishola Willliams of Nigeria who I have been speaking to and who facilitated my invitation to the meeting. The General’s spirit to unify our people is admirable and contagious.

The meeting was the biggest gathering of selected high caliber African Diasporan. It was organized by the African Union Diaspora Task Team. In his opening statement the Ambassador from Kenya said, “When Marcus Garvey’s thoughts kicks in, it will be a special day.”

I was asked to read the report and to share my observation. As I always do, I shared with the community that I would be attending and if they had any thoughts. I heard from many and highlighted a few in my official statement.

In my observations I shared the following,” my greatest concern as we move forward is our own internal struggle, psychological struggle to recognize each other.” I highlighted thoughts from Ms. Phyllis in Belize who shared, “We may have skin color/tones in common but the idea that we are all descended from those who went though the terrible ordeal often becomes an intellectual debate in America but it is concrete in the minds of those in the Diaspora.” It is time to stop skipping over Central America.

An issue of great concern for us is the issue of land ownership and preservation. This cry is heard from Colombia, Panama, Nicaragua, Costa Rica and Roxbury.
I heard from Ricardo Steele in Colon, who shared, “we are facing a high level of displacement due to “progress” in our countries. Afro descendents have been living on their land forever since coming to the Western Hemisphere. We do not take out any “legal papers”. Now we have governments allowing those who want to purchase the land legally to do so and families, traditions are being displaced.”

My fellow Guerrera friend Trina took it one step further, “Environmental degradation affecting people of African descent across the Diaspora is urgent and needs more immediate attention. The negative impact (health disparities, work, sustainability, culture, food security and gender based violence) is far reaching in its consequences.”

My presence in this space was about the voices of women in the Diaspora who are playing a pivotal role in our development to move as ONE.

I was once again sharing the space with Dr. Sheila Walker and was reunited after many years with Dr. Georgina Falu.

It was in this space that I felt absolutely clear and firm after hearing the term, “non-resident African.” My spirit jumped, felt light and happy.

In my presentation I also highlighted Panama’s own journey of Garveynism. After the meeting ended I met Dr. Julius Garvey. Let me break it down familia, highlight does not give this moment it’s true merit, Goodness, “The girl from Colon met Marcus Garvey’s son,” that is what I was singing on my way back to Brooklyn.

The other highlight that also cannot be fully expressed even in this reflection was meeting Ambassador Dudley Thompson. Ambassadors Thompson’s wife came up to me after the meeting ended and shared that he wanted to meet me. He congratulated me on my words then went onto to say that we have something in common. By now, I have a permanent smile on my face. “I was born in Panama” he says. I was so excited. Here goes another Panama connection. He then said, Colon, Panama. Ok, stop the press! He is a Colonense, nada que ver!!

Ambassador Thompson shared that he has never gone home and at the age of 94 he would love to make that trip. I began planning in my head how we can make this happen and as soon as I left the building I called Mr. Richards and then also did introductions via email. My understanding is that his visit to Panama is in the planning stage.

On this stop my African Panamanian pride was beaming.

The fourth and final stop is the Red de Mujeres Afro’s presentation at the OAS before the Commission on Human Rights. We were speaking on the Human Rights of Women of African descent. I shared this space my hermanas, Ana Irma Rivera Lassen of Puerto Rico and Cecilia Ramirez of Peru. We had a full report on issues affecting us and our demands for recognition and movement.

It was important to speak on specific incidents. I had been kept afloat by Mr. Richards and Gersan Joseph of the case in Panama related to the treatment of Haitian women entering the country. The women were being harassed and abused at the Tocumen airport. What pained me the most was the derogatory terms used to describe them. This triggered old stories of Caribbean women in Panama. It is 2011 and they are still using the same terms and stories I heard as a child.

Entering this space was a validation of all the hard work by the Red de Mujeres Afro and the vision of our fierce and gentle leader, Dorotea Wilson.

This glow, this clarity is not something you turn on and off. Once it is on, you feel and see everything related to the Motherland. Once understood, then you are able to shed certain aspects of your life that cannot stand with comfort in this glow. You also gain an extra fire, to move as you should, a Queen.

The whispers of the ancestors are ongoing and this is an extension of that voice. In the closing of my paper, I wrote, “this is my journey, my development as an African woman, an activist on a search for justice and clarity and like Marcus Garvey, I am learning that “I will not give up a continent for an Isthmus.”

May we embrace this glow, may we celebrate its arrival.

In peace
Yvette

On a Search;Rediscovering my Land, my Home, my Roots

ON A SEARCH; Rediscovering my Land, my Home, my Roots

During the summer things always feel lighter. The sun landing softly on my face always makes me feel rejuvenated and centered.

I spent most of this summer on a search for a deeper understanding of who I am as a Black Panamanian woman, activist, educator, daughter, thinker and friend. You will hear me say, “I fell in love all over again “as I rediscover what I come from and how that has shaped me and many others. This summer was about love, my love for my people, my country, my family and you.

My search took me into a writing class where I was challenged to look deeper into the wording used to describe and express our work and the audience I was hoping to reach. A dear mentor, friend, voice of reason, in my life thought it was the right time for me to take this on. Having her as someone I can turn to, someone I can exhale with has been a shining moment of this summer.

My teacher was caring in her approach and thoughtful in her exchange with each of the students. My classmates were gentle and attentive. Some even made me cry at their willingness to learn more about my community. This was a turning point for me as I learned that they are Latinas who do not know about us but really want to learn and that they are allies who really want to understand our struggle. I also learned that my words touch other people of color as my South Asian classmate shared with me when I read these words out loud, “We are rejected by Latinas who do not embrace their Blackness because their skin doesn’t “match” while their history, language and experience in the US might.” I embraced the two women of African descent who became true sisters in the validation of a revolutionary voice.

I fell in love with writing all over again during this class. I loved my free writing exercises. One of the pieces became part of my training/presentations in the summer.

I was asked to teach part of the class “Exploring Culture through Narratives: Human Behavior and Clinical Perspectives”, at the Boston University School of Social Work, where my piece from the Afro-Latino Reader was a class assignment. What a gift it is to put something together that will highlight new information but also reveals a new self in each individual present. The Professors, Lisa Moore and Luz Lopez, were fabulous and open which made each student the same. It was wonderful to be in the space and see the exchange, feel the emotion and see them move through all of it. It was powerful!!! I walked away saying to myself, we can heal if the truth is presented with love and the intention is to love unconditionally.

I then spent a beautiful Saturday with Lou and Ummi of the Andover Bread Loaf Project. I just love both of these amazing human beings. This was my third year sharing our work with teachers from all over the country. This year was extra special. The teachers were willing to “go there” with me and we all came out knowing that spaces like these can exist and we can all learn and grow while we sit through our discomfort.

In both of these presentations I used some of the tools from my writing class. One was a free writing prompt exercise. After sharing the work and some of my journey, I then asked the participants to write about a “place you would like to go to” or “place you are afraid of.” I then shared my own piece in our exchange.

Place

I want to take you to a place where bright things speak to your soul. On our walk, we will feel the sand beneath our feet and know that we are grounded in good intentions. We will see that road that will take us to a place of UNITY; we will name that St. SURVIVAL because we have made it to the crossroad that lifts our spirit. When we kneel to give thanks, we will hear the song in our heart connect with the sound of the river as we touch it lightly. What place is this? This is a placed called FREEDOM, Freedom to think about you, to see you, FREEDOM to love you.
The other tool I used was having students read my piece in the Reader out loud. I then asked, what words stood out for them? Each space had a different response based on their experiences. This process, also allowed me to see the piece in a different light.

Although these moments moved me to think, to feel in new ways, there was no deeper time this summer as my time at home filming the documentary and celebrating my birthday with my father, family and friends.

My first birthday gift came at the airport when Toshi surprised me by having Mr. Richards there to welcome me home. My search has brought me closer to this man who I lean on through good times and times of struggle. The way he moves, the way he speaks, is something I reach for on a daily basis.

One of the gifts of this journey is my friendship with Toshi, the director of the film. He makes everything feel so easy and not tasking. We worked long hours through rain, heat and me fumbling my lines and never did it become tense.

We spent some time filming in Panama Viejo and as we drove around the city, I kept asking myself, where are we? Where does our struggle show itself in these high buildings, this gap in wealth?

Another gift on this trip was my time with the Reina and Princesa Congo, Doña Alejandrina and Marcia. I could sit and listen to these special women all day. To hear the stories of the Afro-Colonials of Panama, their ancestors, created a sense a responsibility to support bringing attention to the needs of this community.

We then spent time in Portobelo. This is my space of silence, peace, of connecting with the ancestors of seeing myself in the faces of the people and sensing the presence of Guerreras in my being. When we stood in the jungles, I yelled out Ogun ye, as I felt the power of the warriors. When I spoke the words of the women who were abused and where the keepers of our secrets, I felt like a Queen. Their spirit inspires my audacity to believe!

I also had my first taste of “agua dulce”. I am still fascinated by this moment. Reaching down at this stream and tasting the cleanest and sweetest water ever. Mi Panama!!!

This time lead me to ask more questions. I then realized that my search includes my friends, their parents and a long history of struggle and resistance that needs to be told. I began interviewing many of them with the hope of bringing their voices into a paper I am working on.

My journal entry on this day was, “I give thanks for the gift of being from this special place, this rich soil, with an African beat. The world makes sense here. Narrating the film was my gift to Panama yet I realized on this trip, that Panama has given me a lasting gift; a treasure filled with truth, resiliency, pride and love, oh love. The faces of the people scream, “Yo soy Orgullosamente Pana”, and their smiles warm your soul. Their voices say, “I know you” and their embraces say, “I love you.”

This was a meaningful birthday. I have been thinking about this number since my mother passed away at this very age. I always wondered what I would be doing, what would it feel like. Being at home with my father I now have a better understanding of my parents and love them even more. I woke up and wrote these words, “I now know that my mother was young. Young in spirit and young in life and that my father stands with commitment because that is how I feel today. I see more, feel more and love more. I move with the depth that leads me on this search.”

Familia, as we begin preparing for the hustle and bustle of the fall, I will hold onto this special summer. A summer where I learned that words can heal, that being in the presence of those you love and care for feeds your soul. Seeing the essence of someone moving through life with humility inspires you to do the same, speaking the words of the ancestors builds resistance to anything that does not honor them and that the search to knowing self, embracing self is ongoing.

As we move through the following months I hope you all join us on the search to come together as a community, to love and support each other unconditionally, to learn more about yourself, your family and to share our story out loud so that it vibrates into the very being of our existence.

in peace
Yvette


picture from the film "Cimanoraje en Panama" by Toshi Sakai