Who and what is Safe? Who is Authentic?

I am chalking up this reflection to the wisdom gathered with age, internal peace that showers you when that arrives and fearlessness that mirrors that of my dear childhood friend Usha.

One door cracked the other fully open. Understanding the depth of that line has allowed me stay on this road to bring truth to something that is nothing but the truth. We have been fed years of misinformation that does not allow us to see each other.

I am walking around after a few profound experiences asking the question. Who and what is Safe as it relates to addressing Racism. The follow up question then becomes, who decides?

My skin seems to be getting in the way of other people seeing the good intentions in my footsteps yet my joy and acceptance of this skin and the internal pride it showers me with, has opened the door for me to find my True Self. 

This combination has brought me face to face with the realization that I am not invited to most Latino tables in Boston. This reality has come with acceptance which is why it was time to share it out loud.

In speaking out loud and holding nothing back at a recent panel, I realized that if you are ready to hear it, that is the reality about racism in and out of our community, then the delivery, visual etc., will not get in the way.

One, Talking about race is not safe. Two, talking about race as an Afro Latina calling out the internal racism within the community is not safe. What I am sitting with today after being on this road for a long time, is that in speaking on it, you personally become ‘not safe’ to many.

I see myself as non-threatening moving with the intent to raise the voices of my ancestors. Yet based on the looks and lack of invitations, I now know that my words sound like a heavy punch.
I have heard many times, “we need to bring you back to the Latino community." I never left, Yo soy Panameña de Colon Por Vida/ I am a Panamanian from colon for life!

The "Latino" door that excludes my Africanness did close a long time ago and may never open after this reflection. Yet the door that opened is filled with clarity of what I come from, whose shoulders I stand on, who I am and what I bring to the table. 

Moving with the phrase, ‘land gently on the heart’ taught me new ways to speak on this truth. Yet however gentle, in Spanish or English I say it, if your heart has fears being seen as Black first and foremost, then I absolutely understand why you closed the door. 

I know I am reminder of the roots you struggle to identify. My next question becomes, Who decides who is the Authentic Latino? Is there a Latino checklist that those who these words are directed to walk with?

Last week the young girls of the HER Project attended an event in the community with staff. They were excited to see one of the participants being Latina.

They met the self-identified Afro Latina and had an inspiring exchange that led them both to say, I want to be like her. The other exchange was also inspiring yet puzzling. When they approached the Latina in Spanish, she immediately stopped them to say, my Spanish is not good. My girls were puzzled because she had the name, the accent, the look, but not the language.

When I walked into the mix, the Latina seemed surprised that I had the place of birth, the language, I was asked about my name and clearly she was stuck on the look.

In comes the question, who is Authentic and who decides? Who makes that checklist that says, Ok, Ella es Latina. In this moment it becomes clear that assumption and bias takes over.

Moment’s likes these are a common theme in my daily life. I have learned to navigate them without responding with a history lesson.

My concern today is the youth that we see every day. What happens to the youth of the HER and the HIS Project who are doing their work, reaching for their root and finding joy and pride in it? What happens when they are faced with a ‘Latino’ who has not but has the power to make decisions and does not want to talk about Racism that includes looking at self. Is it easier to address Race issues from the outside of self? For your eyes to open to see it all around us, your heart has to be open to heal and shed what you have been fed for so long, Black is Bad and White is good. This goes beyond the color of our skin because the acceptance of the internal Black, the Africanness is the first step.

With all the work they are doing to organize their minds and remove the chains of colonialism, will they be invited to the table? Will they be safe? They will be the leaders of tomorrow with a strong sense of their identity.

While you sit and ponder all the questions I have posed in this reflection, I will stay on this road for as long as they want me to, working with the youth, speaking to those who want to listen and to those who want to see real change.

I will continue walking through the door that was opened for me to see beyond. Maybe someday when you find it Safe to speak about the internal racism that you see then you can invite the young women of the HER Project and the young men of the HIS Project to sit at the table with you.

Peace and Light,

Yvette

 

WELCOMING NEW LIGHT

When we recognize the root,

Oh how light the soul feels.

All parts of self, receive an equal dose of recognition.

Your footsteps become lighter,

Your dance moves instantly to the beat of the drum.

Your heart knows unconditional love.

Your skin shines from within,

You see yourself in those that stand before you, moving beyond location and class.

You feel when they appear,

The cloud opens up,

Love is unconditional,

Clarity of your journey showers you,

All this when we recognize the root,

Giving thanks to the shoulders we stand on,

Oh how light the Soul feels

(Inspired by the young men of the HIS Project and the young women of the HER Project and our recent guests, Bill, Ayari, Anne and Domenic.)

The silence in my blogs is not from lack of writing but so much writing and so many stories to tell that it has been difficult to pick one. This short poem has been the Encuentro Diaspora Afro song for the past few months.

At our Black History Month event, we learned that our community needs ongoing spaces to address the internal conflict that they face every day around their identities. We have been fed a heavy dose of misinformation that gets in the way of us seeing our natural beauty or our true self in the mirror.

During our fishbowl dialogue and Q&A period, we heard the pain from the conflict of not accepting our Africanness. Many have been told that by doing so, you are going to be on the receiving end of everything bad and difficult. It is no secret in our spaces that this is deeply rooted in our psyche and will take time.

Many are forced to address their identity based on color of skin or by being parents to children who will have different experiences. What we know for sure is that we continue to be faced with the reality that saying I am black, I am an Afrodescendent, is a process. It is time to remove all the "different kind of black" that pull us apart.

The messages at home and from society have created a block to see race and ethnicity as two separate entities that can come together and uplift the soul. We need to get to a place that says, you do not need to deny any part of yourself. We need to understand that light skin, trigueño, and all the many terms we can reach for before Black, does not mean you are not an Afrodescendent.

The young men and the young women of the HIS and HER project are taking us on a journey that has our minds going a mile a minute and keeps us expanding and reaching for more.

We are faced with the reality that there is Pain in the exchange and we cannot lift it all. It is important to be patient of their process. There is joy when they arrive and see the light on their own. When the light shows up or as some say that aha moment showers them, what a beautiful sight it is.

During our Tree activity two of our girls learned that they might be related. Another one of our girls found out she has Chinese heritage. At the end of our Tree dialogues we invited community leaders to come in and share their family story. To see the excitement in the youths faces when they made the connection to a presenter was priceless.

They struggled with the visual of Ayari, a Puerto Rican, Mexican activist, being 'light skinned' and saying I am an Afrodescendent. One of the girls asked her directly, ' How do you know?' 'How did you get there?' When Ayari passed a drum around to speak about Bomba y Plena from Puerto Rico one of the girls went into one of the deepest explanations of Palo that I have witnessed. When she finished we all looked at her with a, 'tu eres Afrodescendiente', look. I kept saying to myself, the drums don't lie.

Anne and her Afro Dominican pride put the exclamation point at the end of this dialogue. The fact that she came to the US at the age of some of the girls, did not speak much English, and went through the Boston Public School system and went to Simmons College on a full scholarship was an extra, Aha moment for a few of the girls.

Bill Willis, Executive Producer, Writer of the film, 'The Last Shot' brought to light the importance of loyalty to our young men when he spoke of the reality of the streets of Boston and how our young men can move beyond the negativity.

Bringing current issues into the space is always interesting. We did just that when we shared Lupita Nyon'go's Essence Black Women in Hollywood and Oscar speeches. We had the girls read her words out loud and also watch the video. This landed profoundly on some of the girls who struggle with being "dark skinned." The fact that this woman who won an Academy Award spoke so openly about brought a light of acceptance to these girls.

We tried something new by engaging the young men in a dialogue on Beauty. They were so excited to share their thoughts. We took this opportunity to go deeper into what is done behind the scenes to make women look a certain way and the dangers of holding the women around them, their classmates, to those standards.

Allowing new light to come into the lives of these young people and our community has revealed the need to create more spaces and to try new things that make it feel safe to speak from the heart, and builds unity.

As you know, I always have a question for us to sit with, in the hope that we as a community can reach for the answer together. How do we continue to unmask the impact of colonialism? How do we dismantle the long term impact of the 'Willie Lynch Letter.'

Staying on this road is no easy task, but we believe we are where they want us to be and we believe in those who guide us. That light that we reach for allows us to see a truth and an unconditional love that is my greatest hope for Our People.

I hope you know my pen is always to the paper and I will be back soon to share more of this journey with you.

In peace, love and light,

Yvette

A Revolutionary Compass for 2014

A Revolutionary Compass for 2014

Happy New Year familia!

I hear the word revolutionary a lot. Most times it is used in a way that seems, odd or negative. For 2014 I would like to claim it as a word that implies our act to love ourselves unconditionally and reach for what is rightfully ours.

In 2013 I wrote about searching and reaching beyond the words written in the books that do not speak our truth. I shared the words of Mrylie Evers Williams from her Inaugural address, “their spirit infuse our being to work together with respect, enabling us to continue to build this nation, and in so doing we send a message to the world that we are strong, fierce in our strength, and ever vigilant in our pursuit of freedom.”

I wrote about my beloved Colon, dedicated one of my Reflections to my Papa, one of the Silver men, and shared my thoughts on my trip to the Dominican Republic and Nelson Mandela. It was a year of reaching for truth.  For 2014 we hope to continue on this path by highlighting a few areas.

The first is of great organizational and collective interest. It is the Dominican –Haitian conflict. I truly believe this is our compass. This is the compass, for Afro descendents to know if we are moving in the direction of prosperity, for all.  If we cannot get a people to see that this act is far from just a migration issue but of a deeply rooted conflict of black identity, then we are in conflict as a whole of our blackness beyond the color of our skin.

The other is the work with the young men of the HIS (Hermanos is Solidarity) Project and the young women of the HER (Hermanas Exchanging Roots) Project. These young people have touched the very core of my soul. Sitting with them every week has confirmed that our compass took us to the right place.

They confirm the need to address the first issue as most are Dominicans and are struggling with the message they have heard for years, their personal experiences and their journey to awareness as they sit with us week after week.

My heart is heavy when they say; Ms. Being black in DR is not easy. My heart is heavy when I hear their dislike, towards Haitians without any real exchange with a Haitian. My heart is heavy when they do not know they are black based on skin color or roots. This is deep familia, and this is our future if we don’t address the direction of this compass.

We need to re root the direction of our compass to face the truth, address the misinformation of history and truly embrace who we are.

The final area is my ever beating heart of areas. This is the ongoing fire to uplift my home community of Colon. Although in a state of crisis, I still wake up believing that the compass will direct us, not to the Colon of the past but a Colon of the future that will have an inclusive voice, a Colon that will benefit from the richness it creates but is denied to retain.

Embracing our full self is not an easy journey but let us all give it a Revolutionary try for 2014. A compass is about forward motion in the right direction to successfully reach your destination.

For 2014 our wish is for a revolutionary compass that will uplift our righteous crown and direct our heart to love the face in the mirror and the face that reminds you of your abuelo/a, tia/o.

Let us look in the same direction, a direction that will say success in Dominican Republic means success in Haiti. Success in Colon means success in Colombia. Success in Boston means success in South Africa. Let us direct our youth to a place of internal healing that will transfer to a positive self image. That will be our Revolutionary compass, the Revolutionary act to be Negro y Orgulloso.

 In light and peace,

Yvette

 

What Nelson Mandela means to this Panamanian, Black Zonian child

What Nelson Mandela means to this Panamanian, Black Zonian child


Since Nelson Mandela became ill, I began reflecting on when I first learned about him and his journey to Freedom.
...
I then remembered the very moment. It was in the 8th grade when I wrote a Social Studies paper on Apartheid.

My reflecting led me to think of why his fight was more than just for South Africa then and now. His fight/journey was for all people of African descent and for those who believe in peace and justice. His journey was definitely for this child from Panama who understood the depth of his act.

I grew up in Jim Crow imposed laws. My community was segregated and we were the Majority, that is what Apartheid looks like.

I understood him because he gave me another name to define my story.
Many Blacks died in Panama fighting this reality. Many Panamanians fought and died fighting the concept and construct that they could not walk in streets of the American territory that was smaller than an entire country.

To celebrate Mandela's life is to celebrate what Freedom should be yet it has not been attained by the Majority around the world.

The pain is felt all over the world and deeply by this Panamanian, Black Zonian child who still walks around with the thought, how did we not go to the Skating Rink until the communities where intergrated, it was right around the corner from Rainbow City.

As I reflect more on what this has meant to me, I think that segregation helped me in many ways to see what Black sacrifice , Black Unity and Black Love looks and feels like.

As an activist who stands for many of the same issues, he means more to me today. His lessons are many and in sharing these thoughts, his greatest in this moment is Forgiveness.

Speaking truth is to be Free. To be free in mind and heart is to be willing and able to forgive. I forgive and love, as I cherish that segregated and integrated community.

Madiba is our loss. A loss to all who can see right from wrong within their own complicated story. Because of him, I know I chose the right side.

He is a physical loss. He is what sacrifice for your people, sacrifice for truth, is.

I know he will be received by the ancestors in a joyous loving way because it is his time to rest.

Rest in Peace Madiba. Thank you for opening the eyes of this Panamanian, Black Zonian child. Thank you for loving me.

Fist up!

Alaafia

In truth and peace,
Yvette