SINGING HIS SONG

As we close out another Women’s history month I am going to do what I have done for years in writing this blog, speaking from the heart and making the deeper connection to how it has shaped my identity as a Black Woman.

Grounding myself in the wisdom that I continue to gather on this journey, I have found a deeper understanding of the messages I received in my home and in my community and the lasting impact it has had on me.

One the strongest voices and presence in my life is my father who I still call ‘Daddy.’ Daddy recently fell ill and it took me down this thought process of the role he plays in my life and the fact that I am the woman I am today because of my mother and all the women in my family and my community who shaped me but all along the way the consistence presence to be who I am in the way I feel best, has been this loving man.

I have been thinking about a few of things that stand out in thinking about the woman, the activist the poet I am today and how he has supported and loved me unconditionally throughout.

Michele, Felix and I heard ‘I love you’ in our home and he showed us every chance he had. I realize that that simple act helps me recognize what it looks like and sounds like and when it does not come in that way, however late I take to listen to the whispers, I will get up and walk away.

Daddy allowed me to make mistakes and learn from them without judgment. I can always go back to him to process and speak of the lessons learned. The comfort I have engaging him as a male is the comfort I take with me in my relationships with other men in my life. I was blessed to have this kind of relationship with my uncles and my coach. My motto has been, ‘if I can say it to him then I can say it to you.’

He gave me room to be free and to explore. I drove him crazy as a child because I always had the why question. As an adult he has done the same as he supports my commitment to this journey and has joined me.

Reflecting on my love for my father I arrived at two major points. Daddy kept his promise. He made a promise to my mother when she passed that we would continue being a priority and he did every step of the way. They say behind every man there is a strong woman. Today I stand with great clarity and pride and say, next to this woman is this amazing man whose love has been a guiding force to her grounding identity as a Black Woman. 

Daddy has joined me on this journey by sharing stories that we can take in and understand better today. It brings up a level of pain and resiliency that builds more admiration for this man that became a widower in his early 40’s and raised three kids. It is in these moments that I realize I am telling my families story, my father’s story. We have taken trips to locations where specific incidents happened. This makes speaking truth bigger than me. 

He now calls me when he sees racism or discrimination and tells me about it. He opens by saying, I have a Black Folks story J

I know he is proud of me which has given me the space to say, Daddy is here with me, every step of the way.  I move with a Fearless light when I sing that song. 

I love my skin, my hair, my community, and my people because my father celebrated and loved All unconditionally. 

I write this blog with profound love saying, I am a Daddy’s girl. My sister can also sing the same song.  I share with no reservation that the man that stands close to me, the man I lean on the most on this journey of Blackness is my father.

Today I celebrate all the women warriors who keep doing it their way, much Love and Admiration. 

Today I celebrate the man who supports me doing it my way. Today I dedicate this song to you. Thank you Daddy for all you have done and continue to do. Thank you for validating these words for me, Our Black Is Beautiful.  

Peace and Light,

Yvette